Went for my mammogram/ultrasound/surgeon consult today. I do NOT have breast cancer (yay) just a few cysts that re nothing to worry about. I have to go for a recheck in a few months to make sure there haven't been any changes.
What a RELIEF!
The stress over that is finally gone!
Best day ever!
Now of course I still have to get my cervix tests back but I am not nervous about that at all. I have been there, done that, so whatever.
So now tomorrow is a new day.
I have to lose some weight. HAVE TO. I don't know what happened. I have been thin my whole life, almost sickly looking at times. Had a flat stomach after 3 kids. Then i turned 30.
All down hill from there.
Of course, with me not working, I have become a little less active, if active at all on some days.
I swear some days I hardly move from the couch. It has become my happy place lol.
So tomorrow I am going to start eating 3 meals a day. Which is A HUGE thing for me. I hate eating. So i eat like once a day, sometimes not even that.
So the dieting starts tomorrow or at least that is the plan.
Not sure if I will feel like following through with "the plan" when i wake up.
I also have to brush up on my algebra skills tomorrow. I have to retake the math entrance exam this week. Registration for school is Nov. 30th and I have to know what math course I am going to be able to take.
Oh and I am going to start using coupons and saving money where ever I can. Things are pretty lean around here and with Christmas coming, it may even get worse. So I need to start saving wherever I can.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Random
I promised myself I would post something everyday. So here we go.
some very random things about me
1.When I drive, I have no clue where the front of the car starts and where the back of the car ends. It takes me at least 4 gear shifts between reverse and drive to get out and in of parking spaces
2. Douche bag is my favorite thing to call people
3.I am considering getting internet access on my phone JUST for facebook status updates
4.I dont think I own a complete matching pair of socks. Well I am sure I do but my socks haven't been a complete 100% match in months.
5. I quit smoking. It lasted a month without any cheating. I celebrated with a cigarette. I am smoking again.
6.I have an OBSESSION with eye lashes. I am about to start wearing fake ones if I could figure out how to not look stupid while wearing them.
7.I have dreams about my teeth falling out constantly. And not just falling out for no reason. i push them out forcefully with my tongue. I wonder if I am really pushing that hard on my teeth when I sleep?
ok thats it. Yay I posted something!
And I leave with this picture of Trystan on his first day of school. they game him a name tag to wear around his neck. So I made him turn his head and hold it up for a profile mug shot picture.
some very random things about me
1.When I drive, I have no clue where the front of the car starts and where the back of the car ends. It takes me at least 4 gear shifts between reverse and drive to get out and in of parking spaces
2. Douche bag is my favorite thing to call people
3.I am considering getting internet access on my phone JUST for facebook status updates
4.I dont think I own a complete matching pair of socks. Well I am sure I do but my socks haven't been a complete 100% match in months.
5. I quit smoking. It lasted a month without any cheating. I celebrated with a cigarette. I am smoking again.
6.I have an OBSESSION with eye lashes. I am about to start wearing fake ones if I could figure out how to not look stupid while wearing them.
7.I have dreams about my teeth falling out constantly. And not just falling out for no reason. i push them out forcefully with my tongue. I wonder if I am really pushing that hard on my teeth when I sleep?
ok thats it. Yay I posted something!
And I leave with this picture of Trystan on his first day of school. they game him a name tag to wear around his neck. So I made him turn his head and hold it up for a profile mug shot picture.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Off to the doc......again
I swear I am so getting sick of doctor appointments.
Today I am off to the doctor for a colposcopy. It's really weird that 2 different parts of my body are now being tested for cancer. Funny how life is, huh?
This is I think the 10th one of these I have gotten. They suck!
I have had cancerous cells in my cervix since I was 14 and here we are (almost) 20 years later dealing with the same thing.
I have had my cervix frozen 2 times, scraped 3 times, 2 LEEP procedures and some other one that I can't recall.
The last time I dealt with this, I was this >< close to being diagnosed with cervical cancer. The only thing that was stopping the diagnosis was that it did not embed into the tissues outside my cervix or something like that.
How sad is it that I can't remember this stuff. I think because I have been dealing with this for so long, it is so easy to forget.
Then Tuesday I have my mammogram at 8:30, breast ultrasound at 9 and consult with the surgeon at 9:30. Pretty tight schedule there.
But I have realized that if I do have cancer in my boob and/or my cervix, it will be ok.
It has to.
There isn't any other choice.
My bff told me I am too much of a bitch to die young. I think she is right.
Today I am off to the doctor for a colposcopy. It's really weird that 2 different parts of my body are now being tested for cancer. Funny how life is, huh?
This is I think the 10th one of these I have gotten. They suck!
I have had cancerous cells in my cervix since I was 14 and here we are (almost) 20 years later dealing with the same thing.
I have had my cervix frozen 2 times, scraped 3 times, 2 LEEP procedures and some other one that I can't recall.
The last time I dealt with this, I was this >< close to being diagnosed with cervical cancer. The only thing that was stopping the diagnosis was that it did not embed into the tissues outside my cervix or something like that.
How sad is it that I can't remember this stuff. I think because I have been dealing with this for so long, it is so easy to forget.
Then Tuesday I have my mammogram at 8:30, breast ultrasound at 9 and consult with the surgeon at 9:30. Pretty tight schedule there.
But I have realized that if I do have cancer in my boob and/or my cervix, it will be ok.
It has to.
There isn't any other choice.
My bff told me I am too much of a bitch to die young. I think she is right.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
A lot on my mind
I am going through a LOT right now.
2 weeks ago i went to the gyno to get an IUD and a pap.
Of course he did a breast exam. No big deal or at least I thought. he was concentrating a little too much attention on this one spot on my right boob (cant call it breast because I associate the word breast with cancer). He kept going back to it which was weird because there shouldn't be any issues there.
He said he felt a lump BUT it could just be a lumpy part of my cycle. Nothing to worry about but he would recheck it when i came in for the IUD.
So Nov. 6th I went back.
I was pretty confident because everyone had been telling me that it is common, don't worry, its nothing, all week. Plus I checked myself while I was in the shower that morning and I didn't feel anything. Of course, I don't know what I am looking for.
Drove to the doc. Went in. He did the breast exam again. He was still concentrating in that one spot.
No change.
I have a 3x4cm mass in my right boob.
have to get a mammogram and ultrasound next Tuesday. Followed by meeting with a surgeon to go over the results.
That was a weird day.
On the way to the docs office, I was thinking about Ayden's football games this weekend.
On the way back, I was thinking about life insurance.
I gave myself sometime on Friday to cry, whine, feel sorry for myself.
But that is all the time I will spend worrying about it.
Or at least I thought.
I focused on the kids all weekend. And just had a great time.
Then on SUNDAY at 9:03pm my phone rings. I answer and its a lady that is asking for donations to breast cancer research.
Well that killed the mood.
Now I am sitting here researching mammograms, lumps, masses, breast cancer etc.
I am dealing with the "what ifs?"
What if it IS breast cancer?
What if I die?
What if I have to go to chemo?
What if I cant go back to school?
What if I cant volunteer at Trystan's school anymore?
What if I lose my hair?
How will my family cope?
I do everything around here. What if I am not here to do it?
I guess I will find out on next Tuesday. Until then I will try to push all these worries aside and put on my best smiling face.
I just hope it isn't bad news.
2 weeks ago i went to the gyno to get an IUD and a pap.
Of course he did a breast exam. No big deal or at least I thought. he was concentrating a little too much attention on this one spot on my right boob (cant call it breast because I associate the word breast with cancer). He kept going back to it which was weird because there shouldn't be any issues there.
He said he felt a lump BUT it could just be a lumpy part of my cycle. Nothing to worry about but he would recheck it when i came in for the IUD.
So Nov. 6th I went back.
I was pretty confident because everyone had been telling me that it is common, don't worry, its nothing, all week. Plus I checked myself while I was in the shower that morning and I didn't feel anything. Of course, I don't know what I am looking for.
Drove to the doc. Went in. He did the breast exam again. He was still concentrating in that one spot.
No change.
I have a 3x4cm mass in my right boob.
have to get a mammogram and ultrasound next Tuesday. Followed by meeting with a surgeon to go over the results.
That was a weird day.
On the way to the docs office, I was thinking about Ayden's football games this weekend.
On the way back, I was thinking about life insurance.
I gave myself sometime on Friday to cry, whine, feel sorry for myself.
But that is all the time I will spend worrying about it.
Or at least I thought.
I focused on the kids all weekend. And just had a great time.
Then on SUNDAY at 9:03pm my phone rings. I answer and its a lady that is asking for donations to breast cancer research.
Well that killed the mood.
Now I am sitting here researching mammograms, lumps, masses, breast cancer etc.
I am dealing with the "what ifs?"
What if it IS breast cancer?
What if I die?
What if I have to go to chemo?
What if I cant go back to school?
What if I cant volunteer at Trystan's school anymore?
What if I lose my hair?
How will my family cope?
I do everything around here. What if I am not here to do it?
I guess I will find out on next Tuesday. Until then I will try to push all these worries aside and put on my best smiling face.
I just hope it isn't bad news.
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